Even Still I Will Worship

Having cancer is a funny business. There are days you feel normal and nothing is wrong and cancer feels like a thought in the distance. Then there are times when you feel unwell, treatment is rough, and numerous doctor’s appointments bring the reality back to the surface. It’s the little things a lot of times, like looking in the mirror and remembering that my hair is short, the scar and visible port under my skin on my chest, or the quite literal plastic bag full of of medication I need to take now. The fatigue is probably my biggest reminder of my diagnosis and I am often wiped out during numerous times of the day. I’ve always been the forge ahead and push through my body’s endurance to get things done kind of person, but cancer is different. You have to take it easy and I often have to remind myself to take a break.

My 4th treatment completed

I completed my 4th round of treatment this past week. I’ve been seeing more symptoms than before as my particular form of chemo does compound. Lately, it’s taking a little longer to bounce back from treatment with feelings of queasiness, fatigue, fried tastebuds, mouth sores, and nausea being the biggest culprits. I’ve also noticed symptoms that my ovarian functions are being suppressed. This leads to things like night sweats, hot flashes, and the like. Boy, are those fun! At night, I have two fans on me, the furnace is down to 64, and I often have to throw all my blankets off and just lie there in an attempt to cool down.

I’m now 4 days after treatment. I am getting better each day, but I was bummed to not make it to church today as it is a highlight of my week. My gracious sister-in-law (pictured above!), who has been staying with me to help me with housework/appointments, reminded me, “You did just have chemotherapy only 72 hours ago, you know”. It was what I needed to hear, really! I can get so hard on myself and I needed that extra dose of grace to say, “It’s ok”.

So what’s the next steps?

I have two more treatments to go to finish out my chemotherapy regimen. My final treatment will be February 18th. Now is when we are starting to talk about follow-up care and plans to keep the cancer away.

My specific cancer is unfortunately more aggressive, which means it has a higher risk of returning. Because of this, my doctors are suggesting that I do a Stem Cell Transplant. Now, before your mind goes away with thoughts of donor cells like mine did, it is a transplant of my own cells. No donors needed!

From my understanding, they take my own stem cells out, then hit me with a high dose of chemotherapy to make sure the cancer is dead and does not return. From there, they place those stem cells back into my body to help me recover. This is, as you can imagine, quite the process. It would involve a few nights hospital stay, and daily outpatient doctors visits for a few weeks in Rochester. All in all, it could be a 4-5 week process, depending upon how quickly my body recovers. This is the most I know about it now, and I have doctors visits coming up this week to learn more. I would love your prayers regarding this to make sure I make the right decision and that everything works out. As you can imagine, there would be a lot of logistics I would need to figure out as well.

Christmas & New Years

My family made it all down to Minnesota this year and it was such a blessing to be able to spend some time with everyone. All of my nieces and nephew were there, as well as my parents, siblings and in-laws. It was perfect! It wasn’t the Florida beach like we had planned, but maybe one day we will get to have a re-do. I’d share pictures but this is a public platform, so if you are friends with me on Facebook, you can see them there.

It’s now 2026, which is crazy to think about. While 2026 is starting out with a cancer battle, I believe there are some amazing things in store this year, and I am excited to see what adventures await. For starters, when I get to ring the bell for my final chemo treatment in February, or when my first nephew graduates in June, or just soaking in all the family and friend time that I can this year! I know one thing is for sure, God is good through it all, and I know that he can turn the darkest of days into the most beautiful of nights. I am grateful for a risen savior who has saved my life over and over again, and is doing so now. He always fills my soul when it is weary and dry.

To end, I wish you all a wonderful, happy, and healthy 2026 filled with all that your heart truly desires. Thank for being a faithful supporter and prayer warrior during this journey!

P.S. I got a new wig! Pictured with my brother at Christmas time.