Even Still I Will Worship

Last Thursday, I met with a specialist to go over the recommended procedure to finalize my treatment plan, the Stem Cell Transplant. I went with my parents and my sister-in-law for extra ears during this informative meeting. It was, as predicted, packed full of information. So much so that I thought writing a blog post about it would be the most beneficial way to share it.

What is a Stem Cell Transplant?

The premise of this procedure is to kick cancer when it is down, and make sure it stays down. It involves several phases that I will explain in more detail below: the testing phase, the harvesting phase, the chemo phase, the recovery phase. In short, they will take out my own stem cells, hit me with an industrial amount of chemotherapy (their words not mine), and then put my stem cells back in my body to help me recover. Because my cancer is more aggressive, what we don’t want is for some hidden cancer cells to stick around in my body, now more educated to my previous chemo treatments, and start developing again. The extra high dose should, in theory, eradicate those hidden cancer cells. They hope to do this procedure about 4 weeks after my last treatment.

The Testing Phase

The first phase involves a week’s worth of testing. Because the amount of chemotherapy they will be giving me is so large, they need to make sure that my body can handle it. This involves checking my kidneys, heart, and other important organs to ensure they are in good condition. It also involves testing to ensure that the cancer is where they want it to be for this procedure. Meaning, it responded well to the prior 6 treatments and there is little to none visible.

The Harvesting Phase

This is the phase where they harvest my stem cells. They will inject me with a medication that will overstimulate the bone marrow. There will be so much activity that they will essentially overflow into the blood stream. From there, they gather the stem cells via blood draws over a couple of days.

The Chemo Phase

This is the part that overwhelms me, and it’s for good reason. I will have 6 days of back-to-back chemotherapy, which in total will amount to the industrial-size amount they specified.   I’ll be honest, this was where I started to get emotional. I think I sunk in my chair as I tried to grasp that reality of it. 1 day of chemotherapy is tough as it is, I can’t imagine getting it 6 days in a row. Everything up until this point is done outpatient, but this phase is where I will be in the hospital for at least a week so they can monitor me and keep me on medications to help reduce the symptoms. I think I wanted to throw the towel in at that point. But thankfully, as I asked more questions to the doctor I felt my determination/confidence start to come back. He was really good about putting me at ease but also being truthful about this whole process.

On the 7th day, they will put back my harvested stem cells to help me recover. At this point, I will have virtually no immune system. The chemotherapy will have wreaked havoc on my bone marrows ability to produce white blood cells. So the healthy, unaffected by chemo, stem cells can get to work rebuilding my system and that will take some time.

The Recovery Phase

This is where I will return to outpatient as I recover from the transplant. I will need to live within 20 minutes of the hospital for 4-5 weeks. During which I will have daily appointments as they continue to monitor me and check to see how my body is recovering. If you’ve been wondering how I will take care of myself during this time, I will need help, a live-in caretaker. Thankfully, I have some amazing family members willing to help!

To sum up

As you can imagine, this is going to take some time, it’s going to take a lot of preparation, and it’s going to be a long road ahead. Surprisingly, I am doing ok with it now. It took a bit for me to process the gravity of it, but I feel that raw determination coming through. I just know I need to do this. I need to do what I can to reduce the chances this cancer comes back.

It’s times like these where I am reminded of God’s promise to me from the very beginning, that He is here, He will be with me, and I will be ok. I talked with my mom the other day as we discussed how I am doing. I remember telling her that I’m not really afraid, or worried. God’s peace from that promise has been instrumental in that, a backbone that is carrying me through it all. Cancer is a road that I have to walk through for some reason, but I know I can get through it because God told me I would. The daily struggles are real; I’ve cried, I’ve been stressed, I’ve felt horrible, and I’ve felt fine. I think it’s important to remember to process these feelings, all feelings are ok to have, but keep moving forward and not get stuck in them. So we press on! The end is in sight, and I’m excited for when this will be over and I can get back to a new normal! Thank you all for your kindness, prayers, and support, it literally means the world to me.