Even Still I Will Worship

It’s been a while since my last update, mainly because it has felt so wonderful to have a little break from chemo, I’ve been trying to soak up as much life as possible before my stem cell transplant begins. I’ve even seen signs that my body has started to recover as I have little peach fuzz appearing where my hair once was! It’s a small sort of excitement that oddly brings a glimmer of hope even though I know it will likely be gone again soon.

The first weekend of March, I was especially excited as I had a weekend full of plans. I was looking forward to getting out of the house and seeing friends and coworkers. But life had other plans! I soon started to feel ill, which progressively got worse. Shortly after, I had so much phlegm in my throat, deep painful coughs, and my voice was completely gone. Upon urging from my hematology team, I went to urgent care and found out I had Influenza B. I’ll admit, this was a little scary for me as it can be problematic due to my low immune system from chemo. I sent out prayer requests to some friends and that truly helped! One even called me right away and prayed over me on the phone. I immediately got emotional. I felt very seen and the worry seemed to melt away. God is so good! About 4 days later my voice started to come back, albeit very hoarse. It has mostly returned to normal now, but it still hasn’t been the same since. It wears out pretty easily, but I can socialize again! I even got to sing for the first time at church in a long time this last Easter Sunday. I cannot tell you how much that brought joy to my soul to worship my Lord on the day we celebrate him raising from the dead! He certainly is alive!!

This past week also brought some unexpected and unfortunate news that I am not quite ready to share publicly yet. Since I know that the unknown can feed worst case scenarios in people’s minds, let me put you at ease a little; I am fine, my family and friends are fine, but it’s definitely a life change for me. This news regardless has been hard and I’ve been really struggling with it. I am reminded how much God comes through in moments like these. He has gotten me through before, and I have no doubt he will do it again. God has already shown up in the way people have reached out to me, during the nights when worry starts to take over my mind and he puts me at peace, and the promise he gave me back when I was trying to figure out what was wrong with my body; He will be with me, and I will be okay. That promise hasn’t changed, and his word never returns void. I have felt his presence with me. So we keep pressing on, worshiping during the storms of life, and moving forward.

What’s next for my stem cell transplant?

It’s coming up really fast! I officially head down for treatment this coming Wednesday. This process is a big one with lots of risks, mainly because I will have no immune system, and several days of back to back chemo. I ask for your prayers. I wrote an estimated timeline below and specific prayer requests during those days. If you feel so led, please say quick prayer for me!

• April 16th – 19th
  • Growth factor shots will be given, these stimulate my body to produce extra stem cells. I will also get another line placed in my chest for blood draws/medicine access.
  • Prayer Requests: That I will have enough extra stem cells in my body to start harvesting, symptoms will be minimal, and the line is placed with no complications.
• April 20th – 25th
  • Stem cells will be harvested, over at least 3 days. I will be hooked up to a centrifuge for 5 hours a day while stem cells are removed from my blood and the blood is returned to my body.
  • Prayer Requests: That I will have sufficient amount of stem cells harvested after 3 days, if not, stronger shots may be needed to produce more and has the potential for more side effects.
• April 25-30th
  • I will be admitted to the hospital and administered chemo daily and some days twice a day.
  • Prayer Requests:
    • That the chemo will kill any remaining cancer cells left whether seen or unseen.
    • The side effects will be minimal, controlled. This is where the most side effects can happen, hence why I will be hospitalized.
• May 1st
  • The harvested, healthy, unaffected stem cells will be returned to my body. If this process goes well and I am doing ok, I will be discharged from the hospital.
  • Prayer Requests: That the side effects from the preservative used to hold the stem cells will be minimal and flush out easily. It has the potential to harm kidneys.
• May 2nd – 8th
  • Recovery begins, and they call this the “yucky week”. I will feel pretty horrible at this point (or so I am told), my immune system will be at zero, and I will have daily appointments checking my progress, health, vitals, and blood levels.
  • Prayer Requests:
    • That symptoms will be minimal.
    • That I do not fall or hurt myself – I will be pretty weak at this point.
    • That no infection, sickness, illness, or fever presents itself! If I get a fever, I will need to be admitted to the hospital right away.
    • The healthy stem cells will get to work right away rebuilding my immune system
• May 8th – 22nd:
  • More recovery, but at this point I should start to see improvement. If I my levels have reached a certain point, I can go home! It means my immune system has rebuilt enough to have what’s called, “a baby immune system”. This is estimated to be around the 18th-22nd. I will then live with my parents until I feel well enough to live on my own again, and my doctor says it is ok to be around pets. (I have a cat)
  • Prayer Requests: Same as before, that symptoms will be minimal and I stay healthy!

Can I have Visitors?

Oddly enough, visitors are ok! But there are some house rules. Here’s some important things to note if you are considering visiting me.

• Text me in advance! – I may not be up for visitors on any given day, and I have daily appointments to work around.
• Wash hands thoroughly, wear masks, sanitize – all the things. (Sadly, no hugs)
• Know your body; if you feel any symptoms, we will have to reschedule.
• Be prepared that I may need to cancel last minute if I do not feel well.
• Do not bring any flowers or plants – per doctor’s orders! (I can’t remember why)

Thank you.

This post has already become a novel, but I just can’t end it without saying a big thank you to those who have given me gift cards, sent cards, prayed over me, encouraged me, and given donations to help reduce the burden during this time. I am just blown away by your generosity and kindness! I don’t really have words to adequately describe how grateful I am. I am quickly realizing how God has placed so many amazing people in my life, friends and family near and far, and from all different aspects in my life. I simply cannot thank you enough. I truly cherish each and every one of you. How did I get so blessed?