Even Still I Will Worship

This is a hard post to write, I struggle with where to even begin. I guess I’ll just tell it to you straight… Last Wednesday (10/22/25), I was diagnosed with Non-Hodgkins Lymphoma. Over the past few months, I knew that lymphoma was high on the list of possibilities as to what could be causing the mounting health issues I was facing, but I always wanted to believe it away, believe it not to be possible. So I dared not even to share it outside of immediate family and a few friends to ask for prayer. It was out of fear if I spoke it out loud it could come into existence. But as much as you want to believe something not to be true, doesn’t mean reality won’t hit.

Where it began

Since this is the first update, this one will be longer than normal as I try to catch you up to speed, so I apologize in advance for the novel! Back on June 6th, I had gone into the ER with a massive back spasm. It had almost debilitated me and the pain was intense. To top it off, I was leaving the next afternoon to my Uncle’s funeral in Texas. While in the ER, they took a CT scan and noticed that my pelvic lymph nodes were swollen and asked me to follow up on that with my primary doctor. After taking some blood draws and confirming some elevated counts that would present for an infection, they gave me strong pain pills and an antibiotic. Thankfully, I was able to get to Texas to be with my family as we grieved my uncle’s loss.

The next couple months began a series of back and forth between yeast infections and UTI’s (Urinary Tract Infections). I was beginning to notice things were not normal as swelling was persistent even when infections were gone. I had several ER visits, doctor’s visits, and specialist visits to try and determine the cause of all these infections as well as why the swollen pelvic lymph nodes were growing and not shrinking. With each new infection, things got progressively worse. The swelling in areas of my body only worsened and I also developed a blood clot in my leg.

God’s Promise

I was actually camping up north with my family about an hour north when I had to drive to the ER for the blood clot in my leg as it had gotten significantly worse. I decided to go to the ER that had my medical history instead of somewhere local. During my hour drive back to my local emergency room, I blasted worship music and worshiped at the top of my lungs in the car. I prayed over my leg and my body, and songs like “Jesus is my Healer”, or “In Jesus Name” were popping up in my random playlist that I had started. They were exactly what I needed to hear. They all had the same theme of healing and that God is greater. It was there on a bright clear blue sky was this random burst of clouds that had a small rainbow in it. I felt an immediate sense that God was telling me, “I am here, I will be with you, and you will be ok.” I was immediately stricken with emotion as I just felt this peace come over me. I knew no matter what happened, things will be ok. But in the same sense, I also knew he didn’t say things wouldn’t get worse but only that he would be with me through it. Man…. God is GOOD. This message ended up being vital for me and has been my foundation through this all.

The Hospital Stays

About a week later, I heard that the biopsy was non-diagnostic, meaning they couldn’t rule it out, but couldn’t determine anything either. They had failed to get the whole lymph node removed due to the amount of vascular systems (nerves, veins etc.) surrounding it. But there was suspicious findings on there that required further investigation. At that point, my infection started to come back worse than before and I was again hospitalized at Abbott for another 6 days. It was all the same symptoms but much worse. My pelvic lymph nodes at this point were so swollen that I could feel them through my skin. The largest was about 10 centimeters in diameter. (they are only supposed to be 1 cm) They did a PET scan and it lit up like Christmas lights in my pelvic area. After another non-diagnostic result from a bone marrow biopsy, they decided to try another excisional biopsy by removing a lymph node from the left side of my groin. This one ended up being successful because the PET scan allowed them to know exactly what node to take out. I again was sent home while waiting on results. Lymphoma was still a high possibility at this point.

Involving the Mayo Clinic

Even with the good tissue sample this time, the results still came back as non-diagnostic. The oncologist decided to consult the tissue sample with the Mayo Clinic and told me it would be another 2 weeks for results. I was feeling very defeated at this point. I had enough. We were now in October and nothing was getting better, and there was just delays upon delays. So with wisdom from family, I decided to transfer my entire case to the Mayo Clinic. Infection symptoms started to present again, and to expedite the case transfer, my mom and I drove down to Rochester and went to their ER. It was a successful visit because they got all my medical records sent over immediately, and I had follow up appointments set up in a matter of a couple days. Once they got the tissue sample from Abbott, I had a diagnosis within 24 hours.

Getting the call

I knew something was different this time as I got the notification that results were back, and within a couple of hours, I had a call to get an appointment set up for the next morning with my doctor at the Mayo. I immediately felt nervous, something I hadn’t really experienced from other test results. It was like I knew deep down something wasn’t right, and this call was going to provide the answers needed even though my head was doubting. I felt as though it was God trying to tell me in advance of what was to come. Sure enough, as I hopped on the call, my suspicions were confirmed, I had cancer. It was overwhelming to hear as the doctor continued to lay out all the details, the treatment plans, and the next steps. I was choking back tears as I tried to write down as much information as I could and soak it all in. Once the call ended, I immediately just burst into tears. I cried and I cried and prayed. I called my family through the tears, and they rushed over so we could process the news together. It was like reality just slapped us in the face. We all couldn’t believe this was real. It was heartbreaking.

The diagnosis and treatment plan

The official diagnosis is T-Cell Non Hodgkins Lymphoma, which is a type of ALK negative anaplastic lymphoma. It means it is more aggressive than other types and will require chemotherapy treatments. (which explains the increasingly worsening symptoms over the past 4 months.) The good news is, it is highly treatable and responsive to chemo. The bad news is, it has a higher risk of returning. (But God is bigger!)

My treatment will be chemotherapy infusions every 3 weeks for the foreseeable future. There will be PET scans with every 2 infusions to see the progress. It is unfortunately the kind of chemo that leads to hair loss which was another gut punch. But as gracious friends and family have reassured me, “It grows back!”. My first infusion will be November 5th. They likely will be keeping me overnight for the first infusion and will be doing lots of tests to monitor my progress, my reactions, and to make sure it is not damaging other vital organs such as kidneys and heart.

To sum it up…

To say I am not scared would be a lie, I am scared of the unknown, the side effects of chemo, but I have complete trust in what God has promised to me, that He will be with me, that I will be ok, that I will get through this. So I stand on that promise and it has brought me so much peace. Peace that has helped me to keep sane throughout this whole process. It doesn’t mean that I don’t have human reactions, bad days, emotions and feelings, but I can rest in his comfort that he has given me.

I am so thankful, thankful for God’s provision, thankful for my family who has immensely stepped up to help me through all of this! (Seriously, they have been amazing through all of this) Thankful to my prayer warriors who have prayed intensely for me. Thankful for my church and new church friends who have also been a huge prayer support for me. I have only been attending this church for a year and they have come alongside me in ways amazing ways. I am also thankful to receive a diagnosis through all of this. The unknown can eat you up inside. It’s not what I wanted, but now I can focus on my healing and getting back to 100%.

I will keep you all updated as I have them, and I covet your prayers during this time. Specifically that my body will handle chemo, that the cancer will be eradicated, and I will start to feel normal again. I miss it.

I love you all. I’ll talk to you in the next update! (Which will be a TON shorter, I promise!)

Kelley