Even Still I Will Worship

As news of my diagnosis started to spread, the meaning of support has drastically changed for me. Every person I have told has come along side me with encouraging words, thoughtful prayers, or offers to help with anything that I might need. I even received a few care packages and I am just blown away by people’s thoughtfulness. So many people are willing to drive me down to Rochester, make meals, help with errands, or just to be present with me when I need emotional support and talk things out. People with busy lives, families, and needs of their own who are willing to set aside their precious time to help…me.

I always have grown up to be proud of being an independent person, someone who can take care of herself. I am the type of person who will carry an overly heavy box down the hall by myself, I don’t care if it makes my arms burn and my fingers go numb by the time I get there. I once dragged a lazy boy recliner up a flight of stairs because I didn’t want to ask or wait for help. I may have almost dropped the thing from near the top, but I made it and surprisingly… so did the recliner. Anyways, the list is endless. But is there a point where pride becomes a hindrance? My family right away told me, “Don’t be afraid to ask for help, this is not a time for you to do this on your own, you will need help.” I’ll be honest, it’s a struggle for me. It feels like it goes against every nature of my being. Like it proves my weakness and displays it to the world. But that is not true! Who am I to think that I can go about this alone? Who am I to think that weakness is somehow equivalent to failure? What am I trying to prove? This is what we as human beings are supposed to be doing, helping people. This is what we as the body of Christ as are supposed to be doing. Jesus was with those who needed help, he wanted to help the sick, not the well.

I’ll wrap up my rambling thoughts with this. There are a few people I want to thank from the bottom of my heart for the support they have shown me since the beginning.

• My mother – Who has stayed with me near every day while I was in the hospital and has come on a few occasions to help clean my house! (And so did my dad!)
• My sister – who has driven me to appointments, kept me level headed with all the reports, labs, and helped me research things. She also has been an emotional support for me. She would get angry for me when things were taking too long and it was validating with how I was feeling.
• My sister-in-law – Who has called me to check up on me every week, helped with advice, exercised some mad internet sleuthing skills, and has offered to come stay with me during treatment.
• All My family – Who has called me, texted, checked up on me, given me advice, prayed for me, made me meals, helped around the house, enlisted their churches to pray for me and much more.
• My Prayer Warriors – You know who you are, I am forever grateful. I have seen first hand the outcome of those prayers. It means a lot.
• My colleagues – whether it was picking up my work while I was out, or reaching out to make sure I am ok, to sending flowers, care packages and encouraging emails.
• My church – I’m new to this particular church and I feel like I have been embraced as if I have been going there for years. Your prayers, offer of support, genuine care for how I am doing means a lot to me.
• To all of you, my friends: There are so much more I could add to this list, but it will become pages long. Know that it is because of your kind hearted actions and responses as well as with those listed above that have inspired me to become a better person when others go through trials. It did not go unnoticed. I write this post in gratitude. I am so thankful to have such amazing people like you in my life.

Thank you.